When your kid turns 3 it is time to teach them emotional regulation. At 3 years old, they really start to lose their minds and have full-scale breakdowns, the likes of which would get any adult sectioned.
Luckily, you can teach emotional regulation so they can “feel their feelings” like a normal member of society.
Step 1: Google What Emotional Regulation Is
Me: *Typing* What is emotional regulation?
Google: Emotional regulation is “The process of influencing which emotions you have, when you have them, and how you experience and express them.”
Me: Ehhh, I don’t think even I can do that.
Google: No s*it sherlock. Learn fast.
Step 2: Begin Embedding Emotional Regulation Practices
Stay completely calm in the face of mental breakdowns and resist the urge to hide in the bathroom.
Me: Let’s try breathing. Deep breath in 2, 3, 4… and out 2, 3, 4….
Sara: NOOOOOOOOOO, AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *death threats etc. etc.*
Me: Everything is going to be fine, Mummy is here for you…
Sara: NO! GO AWAY!
15 minutes later
Me: Again! In 2, 3, 4…and out 2, 3, 4…..
Consistency is key.
Your kid will eventually realise how unreasonable they are being.
Step 3: Model Emotional Regulation
Make sure you name your own feelings, even if they aren’t happy ones.
Me: Mummy needs you to GO TO SLEEP NOW because Mummy is feeling very VERY FUSTRATED…and ANGRY.
Sara: ….
It’s ok Mummy, do the breathing.
In 4, 2, 5 and out 12, 10, 2…
Of course. NOW she gets it. But we need to work on our counting.
Me: *does the breathing*
God, now I know how annoying I sound. This is making me even MORE angry….
Sara: Very good Mummy.
Step 4: Wait For Your Unwavering Commitment To Pay Dividends
Sara: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH I DON’T WANT TO WEAR MY UNIFORM.
Me: QUICK, DO THE BREATHING!.
Sara: NOOOOOOO
Me: INHALE!!! EXHALLLEEEE!
Sara: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Enoch: *Did A Poop*
Me: I HAVE TO GO AND CHANGE YOUR BROTHER. PUT ON YOUR TROUSERS. MUMMY IS HERE FOR YOU (in spirit).
Sara: NOOOOOOOOO
Step 5: Congratulations. You Have An Emotionally Regulated Child
